Friday, March 19, 2010


Hello Hello

it's been one of those months already. First, the good news....I'm going to be officially initiated into Buddhism on April 25th, so excited. i honestly feel this is my proper path and the start of something great.

less than good.... so the boyfriend who i've adored for many months now has done the flip and change. once attentive and caring, vibing on the same level has turned into self-centered, selfish, inattentive, withdrawn and no connectivity at all. i'm being spoken to on many different levels about the RED flags that i usually dismiss. i'm learning. it's hard to give up what u feel so sure about and desire. i love the light in him but it has disappeared at least in terms of the "us" of it. everything indicates a lack of interest on his part. what a difference a few weeks make. the first hint was in december on my birthday and new year's eve, but of course i dismissed those events, had anger yes but i moved through them cuz the good outweighed the negative. All i'm getting is negative now. how many people, especially when they are with the one's they claim to love, will put on head phones while watching a movie because they are disturbed by the scene? instead of just asking for it to be fast forwarded.

then of course everything that is brought to their attention they turn around on the other person instead of actually listening and possibly acknowledging their role in the problem.
then u go practically a week without contacting the "one you love" and can't give an explanation as to why this is, even though you apparently had the capability. so sad. i really would've never pegged this guy for being this type. if i wanted to be mistreated like this and have to question everything, i could've stayed in my previous relationship of 2 yrs. this is just way too much for my sensitive heart to endure. i'm tired. my blood pressure is higher than it should be. i rather be alone. it's lonely, but considering the actions that have occurred recently....what is the real difference....

lighter subject---

i've been reconnecting with so many cool people. Facebook is awesome. glad my brother convinced me to get on it. tho i am addicted to mafia wars and yes Facebook. kinda voyeuristic i think. but i'm not hurting anyone that i know of.

my hair has some movement now, even when it's dry. only in certain parts though.

my homie is starting a cool new site and he wants me to be the writer on it.....waaaaaay cool.
he's a smart guy with big dreams and the will and way to get there. i support him 100%.

that's all i got for now......NAMASTE

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very laidback i refuse to deal with drama or negativity